The Boston & New England HSP Group blog

HSPs and Distance Learning

2011-01-13T12:31:00.000-05:00

It's a new year. For many, this means recent new year's resolutions to "change" something in our lives; to improve "how things are."

One of the frequent questions we (the group's admins) get by email concerns HSPs who want to find someone in the helping professions who works "locally."

This is a natural and real concern. When we seek self-development, it is very important to work with someone who "gets it." Alas, the HSP trait is still a fairly "specialized" branch of mental health, so it's not always possible of us to recommend or refer HSPs to someone local.

With that in mind, you might consider "distance learning."

Consultations with an HSP expert-- whether by phone, or by email-- can actually be very effective for HSPs. Although some are skeptical up front, phone and email consultations actually fit the HSP temperament quite well-- allowing us to stay in a comfortable location (home!) while doing effective learning.

If we work by email, the medium allows us plenty of time to "pause and reflect," as HSPs are wont to do. Although working by phone may be "live," it not only allows us to eliminate and anxiety associated with travel or "new places," it eliminates the brightness, loudness and other assaults on our senses... and allows us to focus on the learning.

So if you're seeking help with some issue, don't let the absence of a "local" therapist or coach stand in your way!

New HSP Related Books: Elaine Aron, Ted Zeff

2010-05-25T14:52:00.002-04:00

There are a couple of new books out, that are important to HSPs.

The first is Elaine Aron's new book "The Undervalued Self." This is not a book about being an HSP, but it is still very useful for HSPs. This book has been ten years in the making; I first heard Dr. Aron present some of the material covered, at an HSP Gathering in California, in 2003.

The core of the book is about helping us understand how we tend to "rank ourselves too low" in the world, typically as a result of negative experiences that happen, as a result of living normal life. This could be anything from having been bullied as a kid, to the effect of a series of failed relationships. What makes it particularly relevant for HSPs is that we tend to internalize and deeply process what happens to us, and then draw unrealistically negative conclusions about what happened.

In addition to illustrating how we undervalue ourselves, and how we use "self-protections" to keep ourselves in a place of low rank, "The Undervalued Self" also is an interactive workbook to help people find healing for the wounds that have kept them trapped. Although very readable, the book can be "heavy going" if you have a lot of wounds in your past and make the commitment to doing the suggested exercises and journaling.

Click on the following link to have a closer look at "The Undervalued Self."

Meanwhile, HSP author Ted Zeff writes about a part of the HSP experience that has long needed further examination: the male HSP.

Although written primarily about male children, "The Strong Sensitive Boy," is also highly recommended reading for adult highly sensitive men, if for no other reason than to find a retrospective sense of recognition and validation of their feelings as children. It is definitely a "must read" for parents of highly sensitive boys.

The book is both explanatory-- outlining the nature of, and issues facing, sensitive boys-- as well as full of useful guidance for parents to help them help their sensitive sons successfully negotiate the conventional "boys club" structure traditionally associated with becoming men. Different chapters cover such things as school, friends, sports, self-esteem, being a teenager, and more.

Click on the following link to have a closer look at "The Strong Sensitive Boy."

Remember: When you're an HSP, educating yourself about your trait is essential. This is not a "pathology," it is an inborn neurological trait. Because there is nothing to be "cured," it becomes doubly important to understand yourself, so you can make the most of your life, as you are.
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Tribe Magazine and Community for HSPs

2010-02-01T01:06:00.002-05:00

The HSP Community now has its own magazine!

If you aren't already familiar with it, "Tribe" is a new magazine (in print, and online) created by HSPs, for and about HSPs covering a wide range of HSP-related topics. It's a beautiful and relevant magazine for HSPs; the second issue is currently in production.

The fact that there is now an "all HSP" magazine is testament to how far awareness of high sensitivity has grown, since Elaine Aron published her first book in 1996.

In addition to being a magazine, Tribe also an online community for HSPs. The web site's forums serve in part as a place for HSPs to connect with their peers, as well as a place where HSPs can submit their creative writing, poetry, articles and photography to be considered for publication in the magazine.

This first link is to the Tribe Magazine forums-- it's growing online community of friendly and welcoming HSPs. You will have to register in order to participate in discussions-- but that's quick and easy!

http://tribe.paramimedia.com/community/index.php

And here's a link to the main magazine web site. Here you can find information about Tribe, links to the online edition, and a place to order the printed edition. Personally, I recommend the paper version-- it's a really nice magazine!

http://tribe.paramimedia.com/

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Boston & New England HSP Group Web Site

2009-11-18T15:35:00.003-05:00

Just a quick announcement that the group's web site has recently been updated, and in response to several inquiries, a new page about HSPs and seeking counseling/therapy has been added to the site.

This page includes information about HSPs and seeking care from physical or mental health providers, as well as a (very) short list of therapists and coaches who work with HSPs. You can visit the new page here.

Boston HSP Group Reaches 50 members!

2009-10-12T15:06:00.008-04:00

The Boston and New England HSP Group-- that is, our discussion group on YahooGroups-- reached a small "milestone" today, as our 50th member joined the group.

Whereas this remains a fairly small sized group, it none-the-less makes the group the largest Regional/Local HSP group in the US, after the well-promoted and much older groups in Northern and Southern California.

If you've landed on one of our pages and are an HSP in the "upper right corner," come join our growing group!

Just click on "discussion forum" under the words "Where to find us" in the left column!

2010 HSP East Coast Gathering announced

2009-09-18T21:15:00.007-04:00

It was recently announced that there will be another HSP Gathering Retreat in the eastern US, in 2010.

Although not in our immediate area, the Gathering will take place at Black Mountain, North Carolina, on April 8-12, 2010. To learn more, you can visit Creator/Organizer Jacquelyn Strickland's web site where updates will be posted, as available.

The event will take place at the YMCA Black Mountain campus, near Asheville, NC. Don't for a moment think this is your average "Y," this facility is a full-service conference center, set on 1200 acres of natural parkland in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

If you've ever considered going to an HSP Gathering, these are wonderful and enriching events.

2008 New York HSP Gathering in Retrospect

2008-11-03T13:58:00.008-05:00

The 2008 East Coast HSP Gathering took place at the Menla Mountain Retreat Center near Phoenicia, NY, on October 2-6.

The venue was set in a wonderful location above the village of Phoenicia, set on 300+ acres of forested land with a river running through the central valley of the facilities. It was a perfect "natural and peaceful" setting for an HSP retreat. The rooms were very comfortable and quiet-- the only minor complaints came from a few people who were a little unhappy about the all-vegetarian organic fare-- still, most attendees seemed quite happy with the event, and it seems likely that future HSP Gatherings will be hosted here.

The Gathering was attended by about 30 HSPs, including several members of the Boston/New England HSP group. Other attendees came from as far away as Canada, Texas and Washington state.

We enjoyed a mixture of HSP-related workshops, as well as lots of private time to either connect with our fellow HSPs, or go for solitary hikes on the grounds. We also had non-workshop "group" activities including Creativity Night, Music and Dance Night and Art Night. One day was set aside to be completely "self-planned" time, and attendees split into smaller groups and participated in a variety of activities, from excursions to nearby Woodstock, NY to a day-long hike in the surrounding hills-- which, by the way, were starting to show brilliant fall colors of of turning leaves.

Everybody takes something different with them, when they attend an HSP Gathering Retreat. And everybody has different expectations, when they arrive. One of the most common threads at ALL Gatherings is that many people arrive with a certain degree of anxiety... at the thought of spending four days with strangers, worry about fitting in, worry about being "too weird." With very few exceptions (this was my 7th HSP Gathering) people come away from the event feeling a sense of fellowship and "connection" they had not previously known.

As I said, pre-event expectations vary. Most people who come to a Gathering for the first time are "all about the workshops." People who've attended Gatherings before tend to be more oriented towards the fellowship aspect of the events... some even choosing to miss some of the workshops, so they can hang out with old friends and renew friendships... or make new friends. I personally used part of my "free day" to spend time with an old friend (who'd been to previous Gatherings, but wasn't attending this one) who was driving through and spent a couple of hours in Phoenicia.

(Photos: Top photo is of the main building at Menla, where we had our meals, and where some attendees stayed in upstairs rooms; middle photo is of the Yoga Studio where we had our workshops and other activities; bottom photo just shows a "typical view" of one of the many small roads running through the retreat)

It's hard to choose a "favorite part" of an HSP Gathering, and no two are ever quite alike. At the New York event, my favorite part was probably the completely unplanned invitation we had to go watch the stars. As it turned out, one of the neighbors of the retreat center owns the largest portable telescope in New York state, and he brought it up to the retreat center and set up in a space far from ambient light-- and we spent several hours getting to look at stars and constellations, while our "host" expertly explained what we were looking at.

The workshops offered were interesting, but fewer than at a typical Gathering: One of the presenters had to leave unexpectedly on a family emergency, leaving a "space" for the co-creation of a spur-of-the-moment "What would YOU like to talk about?" session.

One favorite part of these events is that much dialogue takes place using the "Conversation Café" format, where one person at a time has the "talking stick." This is a particularly "HSP friendly" format, since many HSPs are introverted, soft spoken and somewhat timid when addressing a group. Knowing that none of the other group members will interrupt proves very helpful in helping people "find their voice."

Two workshops were taught by Gathering Creator/Organizer Jacquelyn Strickland: The first was on using the Conversation Café method to help HSPs develop deeper dialogue. The second was on the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Inventory, always a favorite with HSPs... and often eye-opening for many who have "self-typed," without really understanding the deeper meaning of what they were doing.

Gathering attendee Sarah O'Doherty taught a very interesting workshop on using Energy Medicine for HSP self-care and wellness. I was reminded how true it is (and how important it is to PAY ATTENTION!) that when we meet people, we sometimes feel "good vibes," and sometimes we feel "bad vibes." This is not "all in our heads;" in fact, we're often getting very real messages about how compatible (or not) our energy is with someone else's. The workshop included tips and guidance on how to "clear" unwanted energy, and energising ourselves for the day ahead.

Elaine Aron did not attend the event in person, but participated via a Sunday afternoon teleconference. She presented her most recent work and research on "HSPs and self-esteem," followed by a Q&A session.

As a piece of "good news," it was announced that a 2009 HSP Gathering would return to Estes Park, CO, for the second time; at the beginning of the NY event, the only scheduled 2009 Retreat was planned for the UK.

If you have ever considered attending one of these events, I highly recommend it!

East Coast HSP Gathering, October 2-6, 2008

2008-08-12T01:43:00.008-04:00

We're pleased to announce that there is going to be an HSP Gathering on the East Coast, this year! Last time we had a Gathering in the east was in Pennsylvania, in 2005.

HSP Gatherings are 5-day retreat/workshops where HSPs from around the US and abroad (attendees have come from as far away as Sweden, Japan and New Zealand) come together in a calm and relaxing atmosphere, to learn and find fellowship with each other. HSP Gatherings are highly validating and often transformative events for HSPs. Even those who feel some hesitance about being part of group activities tend to discover that a group of Highly Sensitive People is quite different from other groups.

This year's East Coast HSP Gathering will take place from October 2-6 at the Menla Mountain Retreat Center in Phoenicia, NY. The venue is near Woodstock, about 2 hours north of New York City, and sits on several hundred private acres in the heart of Catskill Park. It is about 150 miles from Hartford, and about 225 miles from Boston, making it conveniently close to this part of the country. Accommodation options range from private rooms, to shared rooms, to camping-- for the budget minded.

Workshop presenters at the East Coast Gathering include:

Jacquelyn Strickland, The Myers Briggs Personality Inventory for HSPs
Sarah O'Doherty, Using Energy Medicine for HSP Self-Care and Wellness
Jessica Thayer, The Journey to Belonging for the Sensitive-- Tools and Challenges on the Journey
Elaine Aron will present recent work on "HSPs and Self-Esteem" to the group on Sunday afternoon via teleconference, followed by a Q&A session.

Non-workshop activities will include Creativity Night, Music and Dance Night and Art Night, as well as plenty of time to simply socialize and get to know fellow HSPs. There will also be opportunities to enjoy hiking and trips to nearby towns.

Registration for the event is now OPEN. To register, please go to organizer Jacquelyn Strickland's web site. We urge you to register as soon as possible, to take advantage of "early bird registration discounts," and because there is a limit on the number of people who can sign up, in keeping with maintaining an "HSP safe" environment.

If you'd like more information, please visit the East Coast HSP Gathering page on the group's web site.

Welcome to our group's blog!

2008-08-12T00:38:00.000-04:00

Thought I'd set up a blog for the group-- works well as a way to post news of ongoing activities, group events and anything HSP-related in the area.

If you've come to this spot as a random visitor, this is the blog belonging to the Boston and New England Highly Sensitive Person Group. The group is an online discussion group and message board for HSPs in the New England states area.

You can visit the group's web site for more information, both about the group, and about what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person (if you're not sure).

We're always happy to welcome new members from the area-- if you're an HSP living in Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island or Vermont, and would like to meet (or just make contact with) other HSPs, we hope you'll join our group! The group is part of the "YahooGroups" system, and has moderated membership to ensure an HSP-friendly environment. To join, please visit the group site and apply.

The group is primarily a "web" group, although we're hoping that-- as membership continues to grow-- we can perhaps help people form local groups in their towns or communities. There's a lot of value to HSPs knowing each other... and it can be very healing to experience the validation that comes from being with others who "get" it. However, keep in mind that a web group is NOT a substitute for therapy, if you're having a personal crisis.